Do Not Go To Advocate Illinois Masonic Hospital. EVER.

I apologize to any IMM's who may have already read this.

So, yeah, my doctor appointment. Well, here's what happened. Yesterday, I was scheduled for an OB appt. at 8am. I went in and was told that there was an "emergency meeting" called for the nurses and that nobody was there, but if I could wait 90 minutes or so, they'd be glad to see me. I said that no, I couldn't wait because I WORK and had to TAKE OFF TIME for this appointment. I asked when the meeting was called and they said last night. I said THEN WHY WASN'T I CALLED LAST NIGHT? Someone had to call all the nurses to advise them of the meeting, right? So I'm livid by this time (so much for keeping the BP down.) I ask when the next available appointment is, and they tell me, Friday at 1pm. Then she says, we have all the new patients come in at 1pm. WHAT? I say, I'm not a cow, and I don't come in a herd. Evidently they have all their new patients scheduled to come in at 1pm because some of them won't show up til 1:30 or 2. (So what the h e ll kind of clientelle do you SEE here???) I say, no I'm sorry, that's not good enough. I want the next available APPOINTMENT. They say it's Wednesday of next week. I AM HIGH RISK, I say, I can't WAIT til next week and you shouldn't be asking me to! Well then all-of-a-sudden there's an open appointment today at 8am, and could I make it then? Of course I can.

So. Today. I get there at 8am and have to "register". (Why couldn't this have been taken care of yesterday, I ask. The person doing the registering was there yesterday.) Anyways, I get registered and wait for a nurse to call me back. She does, and has me sit down in a room, but it's not an exam room. It's like an interview room. So I sit down and she says, "Okay, I need to ask you eight pages of questions, then we'll do labs if it's indicated, and then we'll make your appointment to see a doctor."

STOP. RIGHT. THERE. So I'm not going to see a doctor today? Nope, this is just your intake interview. So I ask, why do I have to answer eight pages of questions when you have my complete medical history in the file that is SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU? And also, if answers to questions are necessary but I'm not seeing a doctor, why couldn't this have been done over the phone? Again I explain that I am high risk and I need to see a DOCTOR. You know, the guy in the white coat? With the degree?

So she says, "We do this with all new patients and you're no different." OH no you di-in't just say that to me! So I tell her that no, I am not answering eight pages of questions because I am simply transferring from the midwife practice which is 50 feet away, and could I please have the phone number for the clinic director, and also the number for the hospitals risk-management department. She gives me the numbers and says that if I want to still go through the intake interview, the doctors come in at 9am and she could ask if one of them could add me on. I tell her no, I'm done with Illinois Masonic and I'm done with this practice. I'm going to Northwestern where I'll be treated competently, with respect, with regard to my time schedule, and without all of this administrative BS.

(Deepbreathedeepbreathedeepbreathe)

On the humorous side, yesterday after the appointment, I was waiting for the train and it pulls up, and I can see there's one empty seat left inside. There was a guy opposite me who saw it also and I could tell he was just gunning for it. I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Don't even THINK you're getting on this train before me." His jaw dropped, he stood still, I got on the train and sat down. Thankyouverymuch.