Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Straight man restores my faith in chivalry. Story at 10.

A straight man actually gave me his seat this morning on the train! Wow! In order of frequency, it's gay guys followed by 30-something women with straight guys actually coming in last. Pathetic, no?

Emailed to me today:

Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women Pregnancy Q &A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college.

I've noticed a change in the way people look at me. I no longer get the "Oh, look at the cute pregnant chick!" look. No, now I get the "Holy hell that's gotta hurt" look. Or the "Oh my god she's a circus freak" look. It's pleasant as all hell. So I just smile bigger and look like I'm having the time of my life. So what if I feel like my crotch is BREAKING. IN. TWO. Damn, that hurts.

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